INFJ - MBTI Type
InfJ stuff
what makes the INFJ so unique is how "backwards" we are in comparison to the world around us. INFJs lead with intuition which is normally a completely unconscious process. Conversely, the inferior process of sensing is almost completely hidden from INFJs conscious mind. Thus the "well developed" INFJ should be striving to think without thinking and experience without experiencing if that makes any sense.
____
EXTERNALIZE EXTERNALIZE EXTERNALIZE!
FASTER VALIDATION ASPECTS
FASTER ABILITY TO SOURCE/IDENTFY KNOWLEDGE OR SKIL LGAPS
FASTER ABILITY TO DECLUTTER MENTAL STATE/MIND / ETC
____
One needs/snould really study their cognitive functions stack
Then cutvate and reflect and develop those
Cultivate Introspection and Reflection
Introverted Intuition thrives on inner contemplation. Make time for regular introspection through practices like:
Journaling to explore your thoughts and insights
Meditation to quiet external noise and tune into your inner world
Mindfulness exercises to sharpen your awareness of patterns and connections
Seek Out Complex Information
Feed your Ni by engaging with rich, multifaceted ideas:
Read widely across diverse topics and genres
Listen to thought-provoking podcasts or lectures
Engage in deep discussions on abstract concepts
This provides your Ni with ample material to process and synthesize.
Practice Pattern Recognition
Strengthen your ability to see underlying patterns and meanings:
Look for connections between seemingly unrelated ideas or events
Analyze trends in society, technology, or your personal life
Try to predict outcomes based on current information and past patterns
Embrace Creativity and Imagination
Ni often manifests through creative pursuits:
Engage in artistic activities like writing, painting, or music
Practice visualization techniques
Allow yourself to daydream and explore "what if" scenarios
Develop Symbolic Thinking
Ni often works with symbols and metaphors:
Study symbolism in literature, art, and culture
Practice interpreting dreams and their potential meanings
Look for metaphors to explain complex ideas or situations
DEVELOPING NI
your most well developed function
Ni is looking for deeper meanings, symbols, etc. Kind of like decoding anything you can to find the meaning behind it.
Ni doms tend to enjoy decoding song lyrics, poetry, and stories and look for hidden messages and meanings in a lot of places (whereas Ne is more brainstorming out loud, connecting dots, piecing information together like a puzzle).
would just give caution to how you use Ni. Ni is ultimately “a” possibility; it is NOT all possibilities (don’t think you thought of everything), and thus, it is possible to not be THE possibility. Do not manipulate others in making it so either.
INFJs have to shut off Se (senses) to process using Ni (visualization), so at any given time they're either oblivious to their environment, or can't "see" all the patterns and implications and hidden meanings.
DEVELOPING FE
FEEL OTHERS STUFF
EXTERNALIZE YOUR OWN!
INTERNALIZNG EMOTIONS
auxiliary function is your second most well developed function, in the INFJ’s case, Fe. Fe is making decisions based on how others will react and be affected, whereas Fi would be making decisions based on what feels true to you as a person (For example, self expression: Fe doms (not always) tend to follow clothing trends or select a style by which they want to portray themselves to others, where Fi doms will typically just do what they think feels good or looks good to them)
There are a few things about Fe that people don't realize. First of all, Fe is not only the mindless catering to the emotions of others; it is also the explicit expression of emotion to others. Fe users do not do well bottling up. Unlike Fi users, who can dissipate tension and unhappiness on their own through deep meditation and profound emotional digestion (hahaha), Fe users need to get that out.
I know you only trust three or four people in your inner circle. Have you tried confiding in them these feelings of isolation and unhappiness? You're not just an empty vessel sent on this earth to support everyone you love. You deserve love and support, too. Talking about it on the internet is a great first step, because it sounds to me like you've never had the opportunity or the safe environment to be candid about your feelings IRL. I have a sneaking suspicion you were never afforded that space in childhood, and now you have troubles creating that space for yourself as someone grown. But I think you'd benefit greatly by leaning on those in your inner circle. The gratification and trust when someone supports you is so rewarding. It can be overwhelming to imagine being that vulnerable with other people, but sometimes, it takes a leap of faith and patient attempts to grow.
I think other people whine too much about their problems because after all, they are the root of them.
I, too, think a lot of people whine a lot, but I'm only in this mindset when I'm particularly stressed/unhappy. Fe turning off feels scary, doesn't it? It's like all the good parts of you that you like just disappear. All that empathy, the ability to see how someone's complaints are valid, the ability to be patient and soulful, all of it goes poof to who-know's-where.
DEVELOPING TI
Question your motives. Condition yourself to ask internally "what was I trying to gain by doing/saying that"? And then actually answer the question in your head. I've been doing this for decades now. So long that it is a reflex and I don't even think about it...it happens on autopilot.
It will cause you stress in the short term. But in the long term it will eliminate the anxiety you are describing. Because it will allow you to place emotionally charged events into perspective. Do not let Ni rule your life. Use Ti to make Ni accountable.
Ti is what I use to release my anxiety. Ni is the source (it tells me something is wrong), and Ti is my solution (it tracks the specifics down like a bloodhound, and then provides resolution, removing whatever was causing the anxiety).
My life has been significantly easier since I developed my Ti.
what can encourage Ti to engage?
Read and learn.
The anxiety's real cause is ignorance...there is something wrong, but you don't know what.
So your imagination fills in the blanks. Do not rely on your imagination.
Fill in the blanks with concrete data proactively.
Often the absence of something is as important as the presence of something. If you can eliminate a given thing as being the cause, that puts you closer to finding the cause.
Logic involves connecting the dots, but you have to identify the dots before you can start connecting them...so read and learn.
The solution is likely not a single simple answer...it is something that is emergent...once you consume enough data, the solution become apparent. This is something that is normal for INFJs (IMO)...it is why INFJs experience things as epiphanies. The data they absorb reaches a critical mass and the solution becomes obvious.
Most anxiety comes from social sources (friend and family drama), money, or health. I'd explore those things internally to determine if you are insecure in any of those areas, and if so, where
developing my TI
Make yourself justify things. If you’re feeling a certain, try to out concrete descriptors to why you’re feeling this way. Same thing with an idea. If you have an opinion, talk to yourself and explain exactly why you think this way. Ask why? And ask yourself what. Because us INFJS often have abstract ideas of something but we gotta know what and why.
Surround yourself and debate with T. For example, I have an INTP brother, and he will absolutely not accept my feeling justifications. When you get a strong feeling, trust that it’s true and try to find the logic to justify it.
It can be helpful to try and access T through your sensing. Do mindfulness exercises
Read something that will exercise your T. For example, philosophy, mathematical, or simply argument based.
Learn the Socratic Method. Read Plato. Develop your critical thinking faculty and question yourself rigorously. And then apply it with others along with your strengths. Itll make you more balanced and in a position to help yourself and others. Within moderation, because it's an unconscious and underdeveloped function - you have use it consciously and that requires a little effort.
it is our relief function, my go to solution for everything in life is Research. I genuinely believe I can solve anything if I just read all of the information.
DEVELOPING SE
leads to a feeling of flowy connectedness with the world around me - and when I haven't had a chance to exercise or practice my Se through alternative avenues, I begin to feel depressed and sluggish.
it manifests constantly. It’s in the lack of action INFJs struggle with especially when they are young. It causes us to overthink everything. We try for way too long to look for answers in our own head when simply trying a few different things would get us to the answer we’re searching for.
On the more positive side, it manifests in our love of the physical world, like food, coffee, travel, etc. We may not be very good at using Se, but we aspire to it in little ways all the time.
Se is our "Achilles' Heel" in that we are more vulnerable to the vicissitudes of our environment, and we may find it more challenging to face the harshness of reality when it does turn out to be cruel and nightmarish
Se inferior is being so intensely self aware most of the time, but when lack of self awareness comes out in these cathartic bursts you are totally present and in the moment and it's the best feeling in the world.
SHOULD CONTRAST TO ALL NI BEJAVIRS
Our dominant function is Ni and inferior function is Se. Ni is very prone to overriding and repressing Se. Honestly , inferior sensing negatively affects my daily life
Pre developed SE:
moody
super ideas but no follow through
stayed in a daydream like state which wasn't bad, it just wasn't productive
focused on self
minimal goals were obtained
sort of floated through life with a victim complex (I'm different, awkward, people don't understand me)
Developed SE (if I am understanding you)
very warm, can turn on extraversion at the drop of a hat and go socialize having meaningful introverted conversations in a very extraverted atmosphere (but boy does it drain me).
follow through on my ideas (I raced a 3,000 mile bike race and goth fourth, I've given a TEDx Talk, I wrote a book, I have had three solo art shows, I've lost over 70 lbs, meditate daily, am highly productive at my job).
a sincere focus on others and also things that I believe in become infectious for others (so as a side job I'm contracted out to do marketing for things I believe in).
all goals are obtained now and am trying to help others obtain their goals
no victim complex, in fact it's the opposite where I will refuse to complain and will just push through things very stubbornly (not entirely healthy)
I find that inferior function use works best for me when:
I've exceeded my dominant function limit (which means I'm really overdoing since it's the water I swim in) and I need to balance myself out with the opposite function,
I'm using my first three functions in a healthy/developed manner and the inferior calls me in lovingly as a natural byproduct and unfolding of putting in the personal development work
I'm calm and low-stress and not putting pressure onto the inferior function to fulfill any specific need or purpose
I'm feeling safe, welcomed, and included in a social environment (Fe) and as a result can be my full self in an easygoing manner (Se) in a group of people
I like to regularly / intentionally employ inferior Se in two ways:
15-30 minutes a day with very low intensity
30-60 minutes a week with higher intensity (a weekly boxing workout with my trainer)
I've been keeping a running list of Se activities that feel healthful and supportive to me, it's like a weird shift where my brain becomes less insular and more connected to the external world and my body follows suit:
15 minutes of mobility work (I use GMB Fitness Elements program)
Writing longhand or on the laptop (I use 750words.com)
Emptying the dishwasher.
Cooking a simple meal (usually breakfast) with no devices.
Ziplining + go-cart racing.
Going for a drive and intermittently bringing my awareness to the 5 sensations.
Going for a walk and intermittently bringing my awareness to surroundings.
Cleaning my room.
Cleaning up e-mail and/or bookmark tabs.
Se is a make it or break it for me mentally and emotionally. If I'm starting to NiTi loop or I'm fatigued in my Fe, I know I need to engage my Se to rebalance. If I catch it soon enough, as in recognizing that I'm over stimulated emotionally and mentally, I will choose to engage Se in a healthy manner. For example, resting properly, disengaging socially for a bit, getting outside and moving my body and just generally taking care of myself in a physical and present sense. I recover and do well.
Why it’s so important to develop Se:
In short - so you can get to the good stuff. You have a superpower Ni, but if you’re in a state of constant worry and indecision, you will be inefficient at carving out a future for yourself, with a constant humming of Se anxiety in the back of your mind.
How to develop Se:
Think about the things that worry you. Think about how you’ve had a pain in your ankle for 5 months, think about the strange clacking sound in your car, think about how it takes you 2+ hours to fall asleep every night. Give those thoughts the space they need. Then, address them. Go to the doctor. Get your car looked at. Get a sleep study done. Just get them done.
Maintenance isn’t fun, it isn’t creative, it isn’t changing the world. Maintenance is necessary. Doing what is necessary will let you get to the good stuff, and once you’re there, the world is yours, my friend. Best of luck.
_______________
dark traits do you mean?
Perfectionism
Check which needs are your own and which are internalized, or they come from a sense of guilt or obligation
Accept, that you are perfectly imperfect and you don't need to change to be OK or worth loving
Idealism
Don't try to fix the world. Accept that world is both bad and good place. Accept that the world is not fair.
You don't owe the world anything. The world will survive without your support.
If you want to make world better place, do it, but it shouldn't be method to make you feel better or more worthy
Martyr complex
Just stop sacrificing yourself, pal.
You won't gain approbation for sacrificing yourself. What's more, you'll almost never be appreciated for it.
Start putting your needs first. Put yourself on a pedestal of your priorities. Do something nice for yourself.
Emotional Manipulation
Learn to accept that you can't control other people's behavior
Learn to accept that other people can ignore you if they want and you are still valuable person
If you have a problem with fear of rejection or attachment problems, go to therapy
Generally:
Respect yourself and your needs
Learn how to be assertive and practice it
Face your fears
Accept yourself as you are
infj post
working with diff EQ people
three words that help
brilliant and inspiring. estj, intj that really lack fe in a way that translates to context provision, perspective, wrritten comms, etc.
they can be one with a code base and source code and in many things be brilliant and inspiring. but wow. lol.
